From the Book - First Atria Books hardcover edition.
Preface: You are not alone --
Do you have what it takes to become a teacher? : a quiz --
If people talked to other professionals the way they talk to teachers --
How I came to teach preschool --
Other vehicular styles of parenting --
All of your children are broken --
It's cooking day at preschool! --
A letter from your child's teacher, on winter holiday gifts --
Middle school parent-teacher conference night, in internet headlines --
How I imagined my teachers conversed about me when I was 13 --
Memo to parents and legal guardians : our updated schedule for spirit days at Mapledale Middle School --
How I came to teach high school --
Unspoken rules of the teachers' lounge --
An alphabet for the school at the end of Beach 112th --
Student essay checklist --
A conclusive ranking of the students at Hogwarts by order of how much i would enjoy teaching them --
Dear parents : we're going with Hamilton-centered curriculum this year! --
Random school motto generator --
A field guide to spotting bad teachers --
It's your 20-minute lunch period! --
Our teachers reveal the holiday gifts they actually want --
I'm going to make it through the last faculty meeting of the year by "yes, and..."-ing it --
All part of a plan, maybe, or, how I came to be a professor --
If Bruce Springsteen wrote about adjuncts --
Classic college movies updated for the adjunct era --
A brief list of what students have called me --
On student evaluations --
My ideal student evaluation questionnaire --
Worst, weirdest, and best --
A short essay by a student who googled the professor instead of reading Jane Eyre --
Moral quandaries for professors --
An incomplete list of sources I have seen plagiarized --
I know you're asleep right now, but please get back to me ASAP --
Sports analogies for academics --
"Why did I get a B?" An answer in four fables --
Everyone who attends must converse --
My last pieces of good advice for teachers --
How I imagine retirement from teaching will be at 72.
