From the Book - First edition.
Introduction : Life in the Midwest
How well do you know the Midwest? A preliminary test
The basics. The states of the Midwest ; Brothers & sisters from another mother ; Lights, camera...corn! 10 movies to watch after Fargo ; "Midwest nice" ; Famous Midwest arguments ; Midwest history
The language. Saying hello (not as easy as you think) ; The long goodbye (even harder) ; Alternatives to cuss words ; Baby's first words ; Special phrases to learn ; Rules for speaking with a Midwest accent ; Specific tips for guests from other regions
The people. Who you will meet ; And, what they'll be wearing ; The hat for you! ; How to look flan-tastic!
The driving. What to expect ; Driving etiquette ; Just past the third deer on the left ; Winter driving ; The Midwest Uber driver ; When you hit a deer ; When you watch a train ; Recommended playlist ; Vehicle emergency pack
The setting. The weather : like a box of chocolates ; Tornadoes : don't get your flannels in a twist ; Your home on the range ; Your lawn : how we judge you ; Your yardwork calendar ; Quick quiz : the Midwest garage ; Fly away, little snowbird ; The family lake house
Intermission : Midwest gallery
The goings-on. Boating ; Snowmobiling ; Fishing : the ones who got away ; Ice fishing ; Hunting ; Cooking out ; Watching sports ; Tailgating : party in the trunk ; Bonfires : some more s'mores ; County and state fairs ; Church festivals ; Cornhole ; Hockey
The college life. Choosing your ivory tower in the land of velvet antlers ; The five best (meaning most-Midwest) Midwest colleges ; The college care package ; Major majors ; Midwest drinking games ; The art of [war] euchre ; The weekend back home
Being there. Get a job! ; Climbing the corporate corn silo ; The big bratwurst : your Midwest boss ; Love in the time of cheese curds : coupling in the Midwest ; Raising chickens ; Raising children : tailgaters in training ; "On Lake Erie, as it is in Heaven" : religion in the Midwest ; Midwest politics : purple all over ; Retirement : when you quit working just before your heart does
Food & drink. Ranch dressing ; Meet your meat ; Sausage condiments ; Midwest pizza ; The right brew for you? ; Classic Midwest recipes
The junk drawer. Hall of fame ; A Boise by any other name ; Things that go ope! in the night ; Paul Bunyan : Midwest icon ; Midwest mythbusters ; More games ; Game : psychological/personality test ; Are we there yet? ; Laws of the land ; A Midwest bucket list
Final exam : how well do you know the Midwest?
Introduction: Life in the Midwest
How well do you know the Midwest? A preliminary test
