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Menopause means . . . breaking down in sobs at the checkout counter when you realize you love Costco more than your husband. —Menopause Means . . . Never Having to Say You're Chilly
Women born between 1945 and 1964 account for 27.7 percent of the American population. Approximately 83 million women in
Hallefrickinlujah, it's here—your ultimate party-planning guide. Forget the stuffy dinner conversations. And the plates of cheese. And the wine (unless it's boxed, or bottled three-buck Chuck). It's time to tap into a powder keg of debauchery.
Brought to you by Connor and Dominic, founders of The 5th Year and scholars in the art of the party, this book serves up dozens of out-of-the-box ideas, along with advice on throwing a successful
...New York Times–bestselling feline Grumpy Cat is back with a mission: Teach the world to "NO" everything. She's collected all her least favorite things and can't wait to tell everyone what to think about them. Grumpy Cat: No-It-All is packed with feel-good topics just begging for a cranky makeover: kittens,...
A lot of you have been saying that I don't know anything about REAL ninjas. But that's a bunch of bull crap! You dummies don't know anything. And maybe YOU should get a life. I bet a lot of you have never even seen a girl naked! You idiots believe that ninjas had some "code of honor." Yeah right! If by "code of honor," you mean "code to flip out and go nuts for absolutely no reason at all even if it means that people might...
"I think you left these behind," I said, handing them to her. This happens all the time when women try to return bags they've used. Tampons, lipstick, coins, Tic Tacs, and condoms are the top treasures found. 'Greasy' let out a sigh, as if I were the problem. "I was just trying my things in it. I really don't see what the problem is here. It's none of your business what I keep in my handbag." It is when my commission is at stake! I'm not your
...Suri's snarky and clever wit will cover everything celeb obsessed, from celebrity culture and fashion mistakes to celebs who are annoying pregnant. Also included is Suri's very best advice and essays on topics...
In Cruise Confidential, Brian David Bruns spills the dirt — or in this case, the dirty water — on those romantic, fun-filled vacations at sea. His hilarious chronicle of the year he spent working for Carnival Cruise Lines takes readers down into the areas where the crew works and lives, leaving readers gasping with laughter as they're assaulted nonstop with events that range from the absurd to the utterly bizarre. Stewards fighting
...The pink-haired, Internet sensation shares her personal brand of wit in this hilarious collection from the hit webcomic.
“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and laxative on the same night” is just one of the hilarious snippets of advice from Aunty Acid.
Aunty Acid is the sassy senior created to give “the crazy lady in all of us” a voice that can be heard from ten blocks away. With her long-suffering
Pie Comics began as a college comic strip way back in the mid '00s, when flip phones roamed the earth. But it wasn't until a shoulder injury forced John to simplify his drawing style and improvise the comics instead of actually sitting down and writing them that Pie Comics became the beloved strip it is today! This collection showcases some of the funniest and most trenchant of Onion writer John McNamee's online comic strips, found
...—Katharine Hepburn
In her bewitching novels of female friendship, fun, and delicious mischief, Dolores Stewart Riccio has charmed readers who want to know more about marvelous Cass, sweet Heather, wickedly witty Phillipa, eccentric mom Deidre, and whip-smart Fiona—five deeply committed sisters-in-arms with a little something extra on their side. Now, in Ladies Courting Trouble, the...
For the first time ever, the best of the worst dad jokes are compiled in one pun-filled place. With original illustrations throughout, this extensive collection is sure to provide hours of silliness for the whole family. After all,...
What about while in the midst of a profoundly awkward silence?
Have you perfected how to get out of helping your friend move?
If you answered no to those questions, fear not. You need Stuff You Should Know About Stuff, the book that future anthropologists will no doubt call "the Rosetta Stone of handling trivial life situations."
From the sketch comedy duo...
A humorous play off of the famous If You Give a Moose a Muffin, the book tells the story of a rabbit who had just one too many. Following the success of other adult-themed parodies of children?s books, author Sam Miserendino presents a delightful tale that will entertain...
They're all tattooed on someone's ass. Or face, or whatever. Remember that time you were wasted and thought it would be a good idea to get a tattoo on your leg of Maury Povich shaking hands with Sasquatch, but your friends talked you out of it at the last second? Well, some people don't have any friends...
Aviva Yael and P. M. Chen spent a year going to tattoo conventions and tattoo studios all over...
You're not evil. You're just...misunderstood. And you're in good company. In The Unofficial Middle-earth Monster's Guide, orcs, goblins, trolls, dark wizards—and on especially articulate dragon—serve as the perfect role models for aspiring evil-doers. Coveting that corner office? Crush the current opponent with your blood-thirsty Uruk-Hai army. Contemplating revenge on a past love? Blast him with a ball of...
120) Dawn of Zombie Haiku
...More Brains...
Some race. Some lurch. Others come crawling, limping, staggering—dragging themselves toward anyone who might still have a pulse. Zombies invade the island of Manhattan, and they are hungry.
The story of the zombie apocalypse is told through the eyes of Dawn, a ten-year-old girl who has been well-schooled in the undead because of her father's love of zombie movies. As the zombies approach, Dawn and her dad realize
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